Your Fear of Rejection - Part I

What do the women of today, the beautiful ones with sex appeal and the ordinary ones with the handsome men on their arms, have in common?

It is self-confidence. A total lack of the fear of rejection.

It's the knowledge, that virtually every man they meet, will find them attractive. Did you know, that for most men, the greatest aphrodisiac is simply having access to and knowing a self-assured, confident woman.

That's because a self assured confident woman can have any man she wants. Her power to win over men lies in her confidence. And that self confidence comes from self – knowledge. If you know who you are, the person you are, your strengths and likes, your weaknesses and your dislikes: If you know what you want from life and want to live life on your terms... that self knowledge gives you tremendous power that overshadows any fear of rejection.

And that power that you have as a complete individual is what will sway men and attract them to you. When you are self-assured and confident in your sense of self, you are sure that every man who sees you will desire you, because now you are more than just a body, more than just a pair of lips that can kiss.

You are all Woman: A being of mystery and light, of sexiness and charm and you have within your body, the ability to lift a man to the heavens or turn his hopes to ashes with a lift of your brows!

Think of some of the women you see around town, or some of the famous movie stars and singers. A few of them are not really good looking. In fact some of them are downright ordinary. But what they lack in beauty they make up in sense of self. Just like a an ordinary man is handsome by virtue of the authority that he has, an ordinary woman is beautiful by virtue of the sense of self and authority she grants herself.

Your aim is to reach that goal by overcoming any lingering fear of rejection and embracing total confidence. Need for Approval? How would you define yourself? As a person who needs a lot of approval, a little approval or one who is really happy go lucky and has a devil care attitude.

Do you need all the people to like you all the time, or some of the people to like you some of the time or is it okay if a few people like you some time or the other?

Unfortunately, nature has provided us with an in built need for approval, which is directly related to your levels of self-esteem and confidence and that's why everyone needs approval and suffer from fear of rejection.

But the question here is, just how much approval do you need? If as a child you felt a misfit or had idealistic role models, or were not loved enough or unconditionally, chances are your desire for approval are more than most people's.

You probably have more trouble with relationships with a tendency to be very dependent on the other person. In a way you can 'smother' a relationship to death. You seek approval from almost every one who plays an important role in your life.

If the above description describes you then you will really need to work on your fear of rejection. No man wants a woman who is weak and depends on him.

Or hesitates to speak her mind or stand up for what she believes in, because she's scared, she'll be left alone. Or even worse, someone who wants to hear non-stop how nice she is, how loved she is, how beautiful she is... So how will a strong man respond if you have a great need for approval?

Either he'll run as far as possible or he'll treat you like dirt, and taking great pleasure in seeing how far he can push you. Low self-esteem is not only a recipe for disaster but it is also an invite to men to put you in a not so good (abusive) situation.

Whichever path your partner takes you can be sure, the relationship is not going anywhere fast. For sure you aren't going to be doing much of kissing: Because to kiss well, you need confidence to enjoy what is being offered and give as well as take pleasure.

Simply put, you can't be a great, innovative kisser if you are trying too hard to get it just right, or are worried you are doing everything wrong and have a fear of rejection.

You need confidence to go be attractive and go with the flow.

Where a man is concerned, half the pleasure of kissing and sex is in what he sees. But to get your man and keep him, you need to engage and stimulate his mind as well as his sex drive.

One of the most handsome man I ever knew who married an attractive though not devastatingly beautiful woman had this to say about her, 'She's good in bed, But you know why I married her – she's never boring!!'

The only way you can be interesting and fun is if you let yourself be true to yourself.

Fake pouting lips, fluttering eyes all have their place ... but take it from me, they get boring real fast. And if your man doesn't find you attractive mentally, no amount of fancy kissing is going to impress him – for long.

So, get out of this rut (called approval) and be true to yourself. Get Real Confidence!

Related Articles

Fear of Rejection: Crush Your Fears. Overcome Fear of Rejection - Part II

Fear of Rejection: Psychological Battle. The Fear of Rejection - Part III

Fear of Rejection: Handling Rejection. The Fear of Rejection - Part IV

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