Okay now that you have the destructive thoughts out of the way, what is the mind set that you have when you go up to a woman with the purpose of a bit of chatting, a bit of flirting, maybe asking her out, or going in for the kiss...
Now what exactly is mindset? The dictionary describes it as 'a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations' Basically mindset is the sum of all your experiences.
So if most of the experiences you have had with women are positive, your mind set towards women will be positive and you will enjoy and revel in a higher rate of success.
That is one way of looking at it. The other way is to ask yourself this question, 'What are you thinking of when you approach a woman?'
What is going on in your head? Do you think you have to make it with this very girl, or it's the end of the world?
Instead of it being a casual conversation, do you tie yourself and your ego into knots when you approach a girl.
So if she says no (no matter how politely), it is No not only to whatever the Plan was, but No to you as a Person, an Individual and No to your Pride and Ego.
Look at the power you are handing over to the other person by tying up your very self with rejection.
A simple "No can affect:
• Pride and
But she only said No to the plan, whatever it was. Not to you as a person!
She said no to a coffee, or a movie or whatever ... so why should her not having coffee or whatever with you, affect you so much about your Inner Self?
Why should you grant her so much power over you?
Do you think woman ever take it that seriously. Yeah! Sure they pretend to. But in reality, nothing is more off putting than a guy with his heart on his sleeve and literally sweating in his pants, or conversely trying to act cool,
when he isn't.
(Confused? Welcome to the woman's world.)
Okay let's get back to you approaching the girl. Now let's compare it to fishing. Let's suppose you have gone fishing. How many fish are there in the sea (big city) or pond (small town). Lots ... little.
More than you want.
Ask yourself this question -- Do you want all the fish in the sea (or the pond)?
And the answer is ...No! You want one.
Do you want a specific one (which would imply that you know them all personally and therefore can choose the one you want)? Again the answer is No. So basically you want a plump, juicy fish, a fire hot man melter that does
you some credit as opposed to a tiny, sliver of a fish.
Now back to the real world and some assumptions:
• You don't want all the fish in the sea (Come on, do you actually want to kiss, all the woman in the world.
a) You won't have time
b) That would include the old, the ugly, the pimply, the skinny etc.)
• So, you want one. A nice one to be sure but just one, for now
• It can be any one, doesn't have to be the one you have within your sights just now.
So now when you approach a girl, you don't have a desperate 'I have to hook this fish... this particular fish, or my life will be ruined' approach. (Which believe me a girl will smell a mile away and run in the opposite direction as fast as she can).
Now back to fishing...
Is it absolutely, earthshakingly essential that you have to catch a fish today?
If you don't ... will the sky fall in and so on and so forth? No it's not absolutely essential you do it today. But it would be nice ... Stop that thought right there.
You are inviting the stress back into your mind. No qualifiers. Just stick to, 'No it's not absolutely essential that you have to catch a fish today. If not today then tomorrow, or the day after ... you will get a fish'.
Okay back o the girl. Apply that thought here. And I'll put it in capital letters because it is the bedrock of success... IT ISN'T ESSENTIAL FOR YOU TO GET THIS GIRL, NOW. THIS VERY MINUTE.
No qualifiers. No ifs, buts etc. No stress caused by time constraints that you have created and built up in your mind. So now what happens. You are suddenly FREE.
Because when you are walking towards this girl and approaching her, instead of thinking, 'I have to
get this girl or I am doomed' your attitude is different. Now you are thinking, 'Hey! Babe you aren't the only babe around. If not you, it's your bad luck... because I have all the time in the world to get myself one hot chick.
It doesn't have to be you'.
Suddenly, the focus isn't on 'oh God! I have to pull her'. Because you are cool. You are relaxed. And confident.
And what happens...
The girl in question senses it and she knows you aren't desperate to have her... she don't impress you that much ... and suddenly now she wants to impress you and will go all out to get you.
Tables neatly turned and all because of an attitude adjustment. Take it from the horse's mouth, it works.
All women love to flirt.
It's instinctive and take it from me ... we can never resist a challenge!